Are there better ways to be a father?
Should I become more late back, more strict, or should I keep trying to be perfect ?
The last possibility is now more remote to me, thanks God!
When talking to other fathers over coffee and buns (one or two Saturday mornings per month), I have discovered interesting things.
Each of us in our own ways, we help our partners. We spend available time with our children. We try to be strict. We get worried, annoyed, surprised.
And often we don't see what is in front of us: A busy life, one that gets difficult when we try to juggle different things at the same time.
We keep dreaming of a time when we will be able to relax. So we work harder to pay someone to help us relax. A babysitter, a nursery or a pre-school.
What we are not asking is how we measure our successes as fathers. We think we know the answer.
We just keeping comparing ourselves against others.
Mark Manson writes about measuring success in our lives. He brings a nice idea to the table. We can choose how to do measure success, because success is very subjective.
Yes, it is. We are all subjective when it comes to decide what we think is best.
The key seems to be in defining something we are intrinsically happy. Something that fulfils us everyday. Not only as individuals but as a whole family.
For me now it is about spending some time with the children, avoiding to be overtired from work and doing some colouring and creative writing. This in top of cooking and cleaning.
I am busy but not trying to overdo things.
I am trying to be an OK father. Ok ness is my thing now.
For my wife success is different.
As long as there is consistency in the bigger picture, I think we deserve the chance to choose success.
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