Talking in non-sense: Blogging, emailing, any other way>

Having started doing bit of meditation and having started to come to terms with what angers me as a father, I have discovered that I react to situations I consider unfair.

How I react could be subjected to more reflection, less emotion and perhaps more thinking.

Not that I do not value thinking, but I have also discovered that my thinking is often driven by a desire to be fair and show fairness.

If this desire is fuelled by my depression, or if it is fuelled by finding myself not heard enough is something to think about.

As a father I am more aware of what I think are injustices in the world.  Injustices that have to do with work, the way we have become complacent at these injustices, injustices about tolerating too much.

I have tried to follow advice.  To look after myself, to be prudent, to have a chat with wife about other ways to look after ourselves and our twins.  Some of these things seem to have worked, but also have backfired.  Wife and I are human beings.  So are twins.  We can think more carefully about spending more quality time, getting help, talking to people.

But there is a continuous backlash.  That of bringing a notion of fairness in situations where there are other notions, or where other people do not play fair in my view.

So I burst with emails asking people to be more fair, to look at other factors, to consider that it is not only individuals but the group, the structure, the organisation that needs to change.  I express feelings

I get some apology back.  I also get messages of "you seem tired, you have a lot on the plate, I can help".  I thank these.  

I also get some silent, as email can be seen as a way of putting yourself on the line too much.  So people want to protect their reputation.  Something that I do not seem to do much more.

I am a father, I want to believe I am conscious, I worry about myself and others.  I am trying not to talk in non-nonsense.  I express myself.  I blog, I email.  

How else can I express what I feel, and feel listened to? 

Any suggestions are welcome here!