Call of duty

New fathers like me often feel a strong sense of responsibility to the whole family.

We are to provide, care for, ensure, defend, plan, give, claim...

Anything that is needed.

We forget ourselves in the process.  As if we did not exist.  Existence only happens to be fathers.

I threw myself into this since my twins were born.  I forgot about myself.  It is now that my body is asking me not to forget who I am, what I need.

Now I can see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.  Society, upbringing and experiences contribute to create the idea that we are alone in this world as fathers and it is our duty to be perfect.  

As if with fatherhood we should amend everything.  

I do not need to put all that load on my shoulders.  

Not that I am a bad father, but a human one.  

Somebody reading this might say: this is an easy way out of fatherhood responsibilities....it is not.  It is about doing something but something realistic and feasible.  

I'm guilty of trying to change the image of fatherhood in the country where I live.  An image of manhood, one that leaves every bit of emotion to the mother.  Because fathers are too busy working.  Or because mothers are too busy being fathers and mothers.  

So from now on I will do what I can, but I will keep an eye on perfection.