The one able to cruise through difficulties by thinking well before deciding. And when in difficulties the one able to talk about them and find solutions. Or the one taking swift action before it gets on to my nerves.
None of that helps when I shut down and try to be strong on my own. Now as a father I can see I still try to be made of iron, but the results can be very bad.
Yesterday I took my twins for a soft play session. We were having a great time until the time I decided we should leave. Then rained started to pour in. At the exit of the venue I became anxious and felt all eyes were on me. Iron man appeared and swiftly lifted my twin boy and grabbed my twin girl hand. The result: he started crying and I felt totally inadequate. I tried to calm down and finally I do not know how they got in the car and we left.
Felt very embarrassed, incapable of doing things in a different way. And would not give up trying. I knew I could not give in or give up.
That is me.
The result is that I get very stressed and possibly the people around me get too.
Iron man seems to react quickly to protect the ego and not let others see any weakness.
Could have written this many years ago. But iron man was not that evident or harmful, or so I thought.
What can I do next time? Mmm, maybe take a deep breath and think I am not being watched...I just love my twins, that is what matters most to me.
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