The price to be paid

Another post today...because I remember I want to write about this.

This year I have published 6 journal papers, all of them co-authored.  This for me is great news.  I have made sacrifices to get these papers published.  My wife has helped me and the twins have also played their part.  They have let me spent time at work, in the town library and ocasionally on our dinner table.  

And yet I feel disappointed.  Speaking to my school's research director brings up (in a nice but rude way) the fact that the journals that me and co-authors have targeted are not highly ranked.  He suggests working on fewer papers but targeting better journals.  

For me, each paper is an achievement.  I have put work on each of them.  I have liked each of them.  And I have closed some cycles by writing and publishing them.  

The price to be paid for choosing these papers is potentially another year without promotion.  I have been told "quality, not quantity" is what is needed. 

It is to me also the price to be paid for being too passionate, too committed and too helpful.  

The price to be me in many respects.  The price to be a father who makes the most of publishing opportunities in a world that wants me to be superhuman.  

Maybe I need to stop running...maybe I need to be more patient...maybe I need to forget about the whole thing.