Speaking to a colleague at work she recommended to keep a low profile whilst I settle down in my role as a father. "You used to be so engaged, willing to collaborate in many things, I am sure after you are settled down you can come back".
Not sure if she war referring to me as coming back to be my old self.
At time I keep contact with other people to a minimum, but other times I tell them as much as .i can about my life. Yes, it is hard, yes, it is twins, yes, these ar the best years. No, I do not want to put em in a nursery from 9 to 5 to be my old self. No, I do not believe that having children contributes to make my work mor focused and thus my chances of promotion increase, no I would not like to be like you who come to the office to escape from home.
Yes, I am invisible, when I surface, it is just to say the old same story about my life.
But guess what, I am starting not to miss my old self. Of course I would like to continue doing my research, and enjoy my freedom of thought, but I feel I cannot spend the same time for everything I used to do.
This will probably make me even more invisible than I was. No dinner event for me, no conference abroad, no inaugural lectures or long workshops. In a way I feel mor focused, I would rather say I feel mor in touch with my inner self, the one who brought me to academia and to become a father. The one that enjoys writing papers regardless of the journal they are sent to. The one that gets desperate when having to play politics or be with people that I do not like. The invisible me.
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