I was sort of expecting it. Did not really prepare much my cv. Was hoping somehow I could get another chance to explain myself. But in this business there are no second chances.
Initially I felt terrible. How come other people who seem to be doing less get promoted. Whilst I am trying to keep things together by leading a double life:that of a father and an good enough academic.
A couple of hours later and I feel better. This is perhaps the price to pay to be more involved with my twins.
The price not to be one of many males who seem to do better in their careers when they have got kids. Why?
Well, just. Couple of examples.
Colleague who I ask if he is sleeping well in the first few months after his child is born. He replies: I do not wake up in the middle of the night. Presumably it is the wife who does it.
Another colleague told me that he was going to keep a low profile after his third child was born, only to be seen more 'hiding' at the office and in the football playground on Friday evening.
Female colleague who has returned from maternity leave after only fourth months of having her child! to say that she would have liked to stay at home for another couple of months.
What about me? I wake up whenever, I spent a good amount of time at home, I have made the best of some collaboration opportunities to keep my portfolio of publications going. And I have helped my colleagues by covering their teaching. I have continued supervising students and taking part in meetings.
But according to the feedback given in the rejection 'letter' I need to 'sustain' high quality work, reduce the quantity of outputs, generate stronger impact outside, and assume more senior roles. This seems to be on top of everything else.
In other words I need to have one brain and a half to perform at the highest level and be a good father.
Today this brain has taken a hit. My mood has also taken a hit. What keeps me going are my children, they do not car if I am promoted or not. For them, I have already been promoted to the role of their father. Something to be proud of for sure.
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