Not taking it personal

A big challenge for me as a dad is to avoid taking things to heart, or should I say seriously? 

Have been just woken up by twin boy who cannot sleep. It is 4am, he cried and I tried to calm him down, with no success.  

Wife wakes up and asks what is happening.  She tells me to do this and that.  I reply I did.  I feel useless, worthless, angry, impotent. 

So twin boy goes back to sleep after wife and I try again.  But I can't.  So I surf the Internet, trying to calm myself down.  

Somewhere I remember I read an article about a book in which the author has 4 golden rules to a good life.  First one: be careful with words.  Second one: do not take things too personally. Third one: do not make assumptions.  Fourth one: try your best.  

The second rule stays in my head now, but I cannot help it and I try to comfort myself by comparing e with other people.  

They seem to be more successful, and I feel I cannot catch up with them.  

So I took is little incident very personal it seems.  I have a tendency to blame myself and then to revalue my own worth as a person.  And when I find I have not done enough, then I pity myself.  I assume that whatever I am it is not worth enough.  So I punish myself by staying awake.  

Am sure tomorrow my mood will be grumpy, so I really need to let it go now.  

Yes, I am useless, I am just human, I try my best, but at is all I can do.  I should not be that harsh on myself.  I will try to do better next time. 

For today I will just try to do something useful, just one thing tomorrow, I will put my energy, and I will not take it very seriously if I succeed in doing it or if I fail. 

I ask my God to help me.