Before my twins were born I was very driven to work hard, as if I had an inner engine that was continuously switched on. The engine was sometimes fuelled by caffeine, to keep me going. I say 'sometimes' because I am not caffeine addict. But it helped me to regain energy. Specially after a bad nights' sleep.
Today was just one of these days where I felt that I could go back to life as it was before. I got to work, had a cup of coffee, and did many little things. I felt that the engine was working again. My old life, back for a few hours.
For a moment, I also noticed that it was this sense of accomplishing something and then starting something ese which made me feel energetic, and most of all, made me feel important, to myself at least.
Life in modern society seems to be all about accomplishing and moving on, proving oneself continuously, making sure there is something to aim for, not only one thing but many things.
Caffeine makes me forget temporarily that my twins live a very different life, with no such pace or sense of achievement. They do not need caffeine, just some healthy food. And they do not seem to care if time goes by. They only want to have a good time. If they do not achieve that they will let me and wife know straight away.
So the caffeine effect is fading away, I am now back to...life. Boring, not interesting, not driven by achievement after achievement. A mad life...but which one is the real, meaningful life to live?
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