The delivery of twins is to many a wonderful moment. The wait is over.
Usually there are many feelings involved. I will speak about mines, which involved elation and desperation.
After 36 weeks wife had to go for checks on her blood pressure and urine. In the first check we were lucky to find angel nurse. She knew us from before and kept saying that she was happy to see how things had improved. She remember the time when wife was admitted to hospital due to HG (you can read my post on HG). It felt very reassuring to see someone taking a particular interest in our case.
Angel nurse checked urine and found some protein, so she decided to play safe and send us for longer tests to the hospital ward. After a day they sent us home to return after the week end. At this point wife was not feeling great and her legs were swelling. In the ward, we met angel doctor. She was one of famous doctor's apprentices. She seemed to understand us more than the other apprentices. She also remembered us.
Angel doctor could have asked us to come back another day but she used her decision making power and judgement. She found that there was space in the delivery suite to have a c-section one week earlier. She asked us if we would like to take the space. Wife almost jumped out of the hospital bed when she said yes please!
First moment of elation. We would finally see the twins.
So wife stayed in hospital.
Delivery was the second elation moment. Everyone did their bit. Famous doctor was not there but it did not matter any more. We even had our favourite CD playing. Wife was nervous, I was trying to think of something nice. Finally we heard the twins cry.
First few hours were great. Phoning relatives whilst twins were sleeping. Twin boy had a bit of low temperature so he was put in an incubator for an hour or so. Twin girl kept sleeping as if nothing had happened.
Desperation started when we were transferred to a ward. Lots of people started to come in. Many instructions. Many congratulations. Twin girl did not want to latch on to breast, so wife has to start using a pump. She is being monitored every two hours. Other mothers come in. Babies cry. Midwives and nurses come and give instructions.
Elation seems to overcome desperation at times. It is not that we want to go home. Wife can barely move after operation. And it is twins we are talking about here. Nappy changing starts. "Dad, there is a nappy for you to change". That is the only instruction I am directly given. All these professionals talk to the mum. Dad is ordered to go home because some mothers might find his presence disturbing. Initially I do not seem to care. Maybe they assume I am there. But maybe they do not. At times I have to leave the ward to breath fresh air and calm down. People are nice when I ask things, but this is not the same as feeling that I am an important person at this moment.
Wife continues to recover slowly. By the third day we have seen many mums come and go. They arrive at any time during the day at night. The ward starts to feel like an airport hotel, with me coming and going. People stay only for a few hours. And we are the 'different' ones. Because of the c-section, because there was no natural birth. And I feel even more alien, because no one talks to me as a dad. At one point I joke with one of the midwives and say that I need to be taken my blood pressure too (why not, I could be on the verge of having a stroke!). She smiles back and says "you do not want to be in our radar".
Wife spends terrible nights because the lack of sleep. Also because when she asks for help to change the nappies and feed the babies some times she is ignored or she is told "you are the mother, you deal with it". This was not supposed to happen in a hospital ward that is regarded as the best in the country.
Husband finally explodes. Wife has been pushed to do exercise on medical grounds and was denied any help during the night to look after the twins. But she can barely move! Husband confronts some of the midwives. They try to explain that yes, she needs rest, but no, she needs to move on. One of the apprentice doctors has said before that wife will stay in the hospital as long as she needs. But this seems to play against the hospital statistics. Desperation. Hospital is behaving like an airport hotel. As if we were going to miss a flight. We just want to be listened to and feel that we are not the different ones.
It is now seven days, and we're finally given the go home. There is a script that husband and wife know it by heart now as they have heard it so many times. Husband has changed. He asks lots of questions to everyone. They seem to find him a nuisance. But husband has to make sure wife is ok.
Family leaves ward. Husband thanks people at the reception only to be given a look of 'go away please'. Elation comes back after desperation.
Hospital ward has a patients group in which they promise to listen. The advert is placed next to the ward's statistics (natural births and the like). Husband looks at it and cracks.
Useful advice:
-Book a room for yourselves only. It might be costly but it is worth it. When I found out I could have done this I almost jumped out of the window. I asked but they said I needed to speak to the manager. So some hospitals do not promote this openly. Maybe it is because of costs (again!)
-You are there on your own. Good luck!
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