Are we not our work?

Recently I read an newspaper article that was written by a mum.  She was telling her story about how she had been made redundant whilst on maternity leave.  What was seen as somehow unimportant event became the source of anxiety and distress.  

This mother told how she felt out of place after a few months of having delivered her baby.  The post natal support groups who were first attended by mothers became places of encounter of nannies (and this mother).  Everyone was going back to work except her.  She then asks: Who am I?  

We live defined not by who we are outside work but who we become in it.  Work takes centre stage, even when we become parents.  For me as a dad it was difficult and still is difficult not to 'do' something called work.  

Of course we have to pay our bills and save some money for the future.  But many of us feel stressed when we become parents because I think our own idea of who we are gets challenged.  We are not anymore and only the hardworking and dedicated people we have become used to be.  We are someone else.  

Trying to be who I was to be (my work) plus trying to be a father makes me feel anxious.  I am sure for other people there is no such a dilemma, either you do something else that fits with the new role (this women set up her own business) or you just add a promotion to your current job in which you become more dedicated (so that the bills get paid and you add other economic goals to the job).  

But for me the dilemma still exists.  I would like to be a more down to earth person, less anxious, less dependant on what I have been defined.  Be less of a super-man, more of an ok dad.  My problem is I expect too much of myself. Mi was brought up that way.  I do not want to dissappoint others.